Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Finding a Balance

We live on a hill and are blessed with windy days. This week we took great pleasure in watching our kite dance in the breeze. Sometimes, it would take a dive and crash to the ground. At some point, the kite became my analogy for living with Lyme disease.

I want to dance in the wind, to soar with the clouds. At times I've crashed. I am striving for the balance to keep me flying. The balance that will keep me home.

I have been quietly rejoining life; reconnecting with family and friends, slowly finding the house, continuing our treatments. I enjoy daily saunas and aquatic therapy three days a week. I am seeing small improvements in strength and balance. I nap when my body asks. Sleep finally seems restorative. Unfortunately, the numbness has returned to the left side of my face and tingling/numbness in my left arm. Frustrating, but my Lyme titers were negative for the first time in a year. It's possible the symptoms are stemming from HV6.

Last week I was asked to introduce myself to a roomful of people and I stumbled. Of all times to experience brain fog... Beyond my name and where I lived, I drew a blank. How do I identify myself these days? Retired science teacher? Not really retired. I should have explained my connection to Gary Williams, whom the award is named after, but that came to me moments later, when it was too late. It bothered me for the rest of the day; the same day the IDSA stood by it's original guidelines that Lyme disease is difficult to catch and easy to treat. So disappointing to those whose lives have been turned upside down by this disease.

I woke to a message of gratitude and prayer written by a friend and former student, David Crambell. I was deeply touched and with his permission, I share his prayer with you.

"Father please hear our prayer. Sometimes in life we encounter obstacles that we cannot move without you, so we ask for help, and part of the time we feel you guiding us and helping us past the obstacle, but other times we feel like we are left alone to do the work ourselves, and it is in these times we are the most aware of your presence, for only a good and just God would allow his children the true knowledge of self that we all so possess. Thank You, Lord for watching over us and helping us help ourselves."

May we continue to face our obstacles with grace and education. Our best to you!