Community

With the country so divided as tomorrow's elections approach, ugly emotions abound. Stress is probably one of the biggest "bad guys" for chronic illness. As many are looking forward to a wrap on this election, the truth is, the strong emotions that have surfaced will not simply disappear. I hope after Tuesday, we find the grace to remove physical reminders like yard signs and empty chairs that will only add salt to raw wounds as we try to move forward.

On this day of uncertainty, I remind myself of how fortunate I am. We live in a beautiful place, one that values community. Where Halloween feels like a neighborhood party. A town where we dance in the streets at the Holiday Open House and drop our own New Year's Eve ball at 9pm so all can enjoy. A place where "buying local" is a priority. We're blessed with vibrant independent booksellers and local businesses that support our community in countless ways. Food banks, soup kitchens and paper pantries help many through difficult days. We're blessed by local farmers who provide us with delicious fresh food and schools that foster excellence. We're blessed with excellent stewards of our environment. We appreciate one another. We're there for each other.

And we love our arts. A few of our family's local favorites...

The art of food 
Heritage tomatoes and apples, root vegetables, artisan cheeses, morels and chantrelles, farm fresh eggs and milk, maple syrup, lavender, honey...ah, the joys of eating simply are truly delicious! I have a deep appreciation for our local organic farmers, especially after becoming so sensitive to additives, preservatives, pesticides and finally gluten. You simply can not beat fresh food prepared simply! Catch Farm to Frame: Ripe Moments Through the Lens, a juried photographic exhibit at Crooked Tree that showcases the journey of our local foods from beautiful farms, to vibrant markets and finally to our tables.

The art of dance
Our beautiful Crooked Tree pre-professional dancers enchant us with their talent and dedication. What a joy to watch their beauty and grace! We celebrate their achievements as they fledge around the country; to Chicago, New York, and beyond and smile at the tiny tots in tutus who look up to them.

Vibrant children's and adult theater
Unforgettable performances keep us coming back again and again, making it easy to support our local schools and Little Traverse Civic Theater productions. There's always something special in the works. We're looking forward to  The Wizard of Oz  this weekend and LTCT bringing The Christmas Carol to life this holiday season!

The art of music
So much to celebrate: PHS Marching Northmen and beautiful concert bands, PHS Steel Drum Band, youth orchestras, the Great Lakes Chamber Orchestra, PHS choirs, Little Traverse Youth Choir, the Little Traverse Choral Society and the Northern MI Chorale. A special thanks to the many dedicated and talented performers, directors and teachers who make this so memorable!

Our home is at its best when filled with music. This fall I found the courage to join the Northern MI Chorale.  The joy of singing with a group of people ranging in age from 14 to the upper 80s was a blessing that far outweighed the physical challenges. My doctor was thrilled, citing current research supporting singing as good for your health. From improving memory and balance, to boosting your immune system and fighting stress. All great tools for someone fighting chronic illness. Recently, I suffered consecutive knee injuries, a real bummer. Singing helped lift me above this new pain and frustration. This weekend I sang in my first vocal concerts. So healing to be surrounded by beautiful voices and so poignant to hear the voices of our daughter and her friend soar in their duet, God Help the Outcasts. So very grateful for the opportunities that let us transcend disease.

Wishing you grace, strength of spirit, and blessings in the days ahead!

Shreds

I've been wrestling with writing, missing the May deadline for a Lyme Awareness post. Yesterday our Border Collie cracked the writer's block.

A family of rabbits lives in our backyard, darting and hopping; very playful. Giving the illusion that Richard Adam's Watership Down's warren has sprung straight from the pages into our yard. Our Border Collie has a different take. To Marley, it is more like Cynthia Rylant's Mr. Putter & Tabby Feed the Fish.where Tabby, is driven crazy by goldfish. Yesterday, Marley flew into a frustrated frenzy, shredding every piece of bedding down to and including my side of the mattress. Fortunately, no quilts were damaged, but UGH! Suffice it to say, between medical expenses, student loan payments and life in general, new bedding and a mattress are not in the budget. So what to do beyond providing love and reassurance to one very remorseful BC who just happens to be draped over me as I write?

Well, there are two traits that come in handy if you're going to survive Lyme. You must be adaptable and a great problem solver. At bedtime, my husband carefully laid out the sheets, making sure the tears didn't overlap and fell quickly asleep. Sewing machine repairs could wait, but what to do with the rather large hole in the mattress on my side of the bed?

Wool roving? I replaced a piece of mattress, stuffed roving around it, then used a pad from a brace to hold it all in place. Good enough. Just as I drifted off to sleep, it hit me that the shreds of fabric were a simile for our lives.

Life as we once knew it in shreds or we're holding on by a shred? A bit of each I think. Dear ones facing cancer and congestive heart failure. Shared grief from recent losses. On the Lyme front, our nine year old is adjusting to life with a shunt and the remaining syrinxes in her spinal cord. Painting, singing and writing bring much joy. She has loved rejoining her classmates at school. Our 14 year old recently developed complex regional pain syndrome after a knee injury. So painful and debilitating! Music remains her solace and inspiration. As one world opens up a bit, the other shrinks. The ebb and flow of chronic illness.

A friend recently asked if I was keeping my head above water? I laughed, "Nose and lips."

Daily antibiotic infusions keep me afloat. Infusions to knock down mastoiditis, a stubborn bone infection left over from my Lupus days. I tire easily. A sense of humor, though sorely tested, hangs tough, but please pardon me if I laugh too loudly. The sense of humor is a bit strained and the left ear still messed up, but as our youngest says, "Welcome to my world."

Who can argue with that?

Yes, blankets are torn and our lives in disrepair, but shining moments keep us moving forward and our spirits alive. So here is my May service announcement in June. As the tick populations grow and spread and scientists warn of a perfect Lyme storm brewing, please learn what you can about Lyme disease. Not all ticks are infected with Lyme, but one that is can change your life forever. When I think of the havoc a tiny deer tick caused in our family's lives, it's humbling. Remember, a bull's eye rash is a definitive sign for Lyme, but it shows up in a small percentage of cases. Unfortunately, the tests for Lyme are often unreliable. Lyme disease should be a clinical diagnosis. A bull's eye rash or a summer "flu" are warning flags. Adequate treatment at the onset of infection can spare years of suffering later. Closing with best wishes from our family to yours!

How do you know?

How do you know a pediatric neurosurgeon loves his/her patients? When the dressings are cut away to reveal gauze cut in the shape of hearts!

Rewind to August. Two weeks before her ninth birthday, our daughter started having a rougher time. She had less patience, was easily agitated and had a more difficult time making eye contact. She noticed memory issues. School started and in her words, "Things that used to be easy are taking a lot longer and sometimes I can't even remember what to do."

Things like how to add or subtract.

We noticed a decline in fine motor skills, more confusion, increased cognitive difficulty, dizziness, queasiness, increased headaches, fatigue and falls.

A CAT scan provided the first clue, hydrocephalus in the third ventricle of the brain. An MRI revealed hydrocephalus in the third and lateral ventricles, a Chiari malformation and part of a syrinx in the spinal cord. An MRI of the spine revealed two syrinxes in the spinal cord. A pediatric neurosurgeon joined the team of amazing physicians spanning four children's hospitals who have helped her to be where she is today: endocrinologist, bone geneticist, infectious disease specialist, orthopedic surgeon, pediatric opthamologists, ENT, pulmonologist, pediatricians and now a neurosurgeon. Our daughter was born with cerebral Lyme disease. She was diagnosed three years ago, solving many of her medical mysteries, but leaving challenges still to be faced.

The neurosurgeon explained that the Chiari malformation or hydrocephalus triggered the remaining problems, but which came first? A chicken/egg scenario. Fortunately, early MRIs provided the answer. They were normal, ruling out the Chiari malformation as a birth defect. The hydrocephalus came first. One cause of hydrocephalus is an infection of the central nervous system. Chief suspect: Borrelia.

This week a V/P shunt was inserted into her brain. At the time of her surgery, her cerebrospinal pressure was extremely high. In the surgeon's words, "It was the real deal."

She has been through so much in her nine years and there have been countless instances where we have been in awe of her courage and determination. Other than a few tears in the recovery room, she hasn't cried. Not during physical therapy, not when she tries to get up or roll over. Her one complaint, "I didn't realize it would hurt everywhere."

When she was tiny, she announced after getting a nightly shot of growth hormone, "I am one tough cookie in my wonderwear!"

She still is! Revealed once again when those heart shaped dressings came off today. Hearts meant to ease the hurt. A gift from a gifted surgeon.

Today, her hand has cautiously slipped behind her ear, carefully exploring where her hair has been shaved. A few tears. In three months, repeat MRIs will determine whether more surgery is necessary. We pray not, but know chronic Lyme is a marathon. There will be more challenges ahead. For now, it is enough to take comfort and gather strength from being home. It is time to rest and heal.

In closing, unforgettable words of encouragement from a nurse who shared our joy in her first steps after surgery to explore the Children's Garden. "Look at you, Little O!"

Flaws

I see two problems with diagnosing a patient with Lupus before accurately ruling out Lyme disease. First, the treatment of Lupus by design compromises the immune system, which in a Lyme patient cripples its ability to fight the Lyme bacteria. Symptoms worsen, sometimes resulting in irreversible damage. Second, the drugs that compromise the patient's immune system make it virtually impossible to have a positive Lyme test. This is huge because so many physicians rely on a positive test for diagnosis. In my own case, two early negative Lyme tests were irrelevant because of the immunosupressive drugs I was taking. Four weeks into my IV antibiotic therapy, after all immunosupressants were removed from my system, I tested positive for Lyme disease. If I had not found a doctor who understood this, that test and diagnosis would never have come.

According to Stricker et. al in Future Microbiology:

“…there is growing scientific evidence that chronic Lyme disease does exist, and that this clinical condition is related to persistent infection with B. burgdorferi as shown by microbiological and molecular studies. Persistent infection occurs in animal models and humans because the Lyme spirochete is able to evade both the host immune response and short-course antibiotic therapy to establish chronic infection in protected tissue sites, much like TB. This chronic infection leads to persistent musculoskeletal, neurologic and cardiac symptoms that are the hallmark of chronic Lyme disease. By contrast, the leading theory for persistent symptoms owing to ‘post-Lyme syndrome’, namely an autoimmune response triggered by the eradicated spirochetal infection, has not been supported by scientific evidence.”

Perhaps this is why, a year after I began treatment for Lyme disease, my ELISA and Western Blot IgM values are still positive for Lyme disease and climb when symptoms worsen.

If you are interested in reading more about the chronic Lyme controversy, Kris Newby wrote an insightful blog for Under Our Skin Chronic Lyme, Real or Imaginary which included the above quote. I pray for a day when science will trump financial gain.

When Did It Begin?

After years of illness, I was finally diagnosed with Lyme disease in November, 2008 and began immediate treatment. Previous diagnoses included Lupus, mixed connective tissue disease, Sjogren's syndrome, Scleroderma, Raynaud's syndrome, posterior orthostatic tachycardia syndrome, migraines, neuropathy, hypermobility syndrome, TMJ, carpal tunnel syndrome, ulnar nerve compression, chronic fatigue syndrome, fibromyalgia, antiphospholipid syndrome, intermittent hearing loss, arthritis, Candidiasis, hypoglycemia, degenerative disk disease, Epstein Barr and human parvo viruses, median arcuate ligament compression syndrome, eschemia, Bell's palsy, chronic sinus, ear and urinary tract infections, trigeminal nerve involvement, joint pain, costal chondritis, mild foot drop and possible vasculitis of the small blood vessels. M.S. was on the horizon. I still flirt with symptoms of M.S..

I am often asked, "How did you get Lyme disease?!"

I will never know when I was exposed or if I have been repeatedly infected, but I've certainly had ample opportunity. As a child, I spent five summers from the ages of 5 and 10, camping for entire summers while my father worked on his Master's at Central Michigan University's Biological Station on Beaver Island. Covered from head to toe with black fly, no-see-um and mosquito bites, it was a fabulous childhood and a pivotal influence on my adult life.

Our family spent the summer of 1976 camping while my parents cleared land and built their home in a wooded lot adjacent to a field frequented by deer. How I loved to walk with my dog and ride my pony through those fields while growing up.

Had we been wrong about the ringworm on my stomach? Could it have been a bull’s eye rash?

What about the run-in with ticks on a hike in the Porcupine Mountains in 1982?

During the fall of 1983 at Michigan Technological University, I spent a night in the woods with fellow classmates as we helped with an off-road rally, the Press on Regardless. I awoke days later, running a fever and covered from head to toe with tiny spots resembling a Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever rash. The campus physician was puzzled by my illness. My son, born a year and a half later was 9 1/2 weeks premature.

Add another red flag to the summer of 1989. I was taking field classes at the University of Michigan Biological Station. A chipmunk was a continual visitor to our dorm room. Did it carry a tick into our room? During that summer, our class of 15 students and three instructors headed to Sugar Island for an overnight field trip. The group stayed in one cabin and some of us opted to sleep under the stars. I still remember the beautiful stars and my giggles as my sleeping bag kept sliding toward the lake shore. When our class was preparing to return to the Station, I became violently ill with what I thought was flu or food poisoning. However, I was the only one who became ill. I now know that a summer "flu", especially if no one else becomes ill, is a very red flag.

Within a few years, I could hardly walk due to arthritis in my right knee, I had daily sore throats, frequent respiratory and UTI infections and lost my voice at the slightest cold. A walk-in collision with a school bus mirror resulted in post-concussion syndrome, two weeks of missed work and months of short-term memory loss. I was bothered for many months, nearly a year, when an itchy sore on the back of neck in my hairline refused to heal. Students would remind me to eat protein when I would become weak and pale.

Our current home backs up to a beautiful field. Deer frequent our backyard.

I am a biologist and a nature photographer. Much of my life has been spent surrounded by nature. It is a part of who I am and what I love. My husband sides with the MTU theory. The truth is that we can only be sure of one thing. I've had it for a long time.